WISE WISE Words Blog

It's not like there are a million great guys out there...

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:21:09 GMT

I posted this response (*some language at the link) to an advice column on our facebook page, but wanted to highlight this response from the comments. While there was so much in the "advice" that was harmful and ignorant, this sentiment is something that comes up often, and is a classic example of how the way we talk about relationships generally can radically affect a victim's perception of her options (or lack thereof).

Most men are not abusive! And we don't want to believe that some men we know might be. Those that are think that their actions are normal an acceptable because we - in advice columns! - excuse and justify their behaviors for them. This not only perpetuates the abuse in that relationship, it sets a disrespectfully low bar for those many many men who are thoughtful and caring and treat other human beings with kindness and compassion. We need to stop allowing abuse to look like a normal behavior. We need to stop the idea that a bad relationship is better than no relationship. And we need to think about how our "advice" sets the tone for so much more than we may have intended. Dani, below, says it perfectly.

Dani Alexis 3.9.2012 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

It’s not like there are a million really great men out there; it’s not like she can just go and pick one and be off to her perfect life.

I stayed with an abuser for seven years on the basis of such pearls of wisdom as this comment. Then I left him, and I learned that actually, yes, it is like that.

As in, it is like there are LITERALLY ONE MILLION men (or more) out there who will not threaten violence, freak out when you have your own friends and interests, or have a screaming match in front of your apartment building when you say “look, I need to try something else.” It is ABSOLUTELY LIKE this woman can find someone to date who will not send up even a single one of the red flags this LW is rolling in right now. Decent human beings really are A Real Thing in the World!

(Granted, not all of those people will be this woman’s cup of tea – but I’d bet my hat that at least ONE of the literally a million or more men who will treat this woman with basic human respect will also be someone she could see herself marrying, if that’s what she wants.)

Social media for social change

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:36:55 GMT

There have been a number of examples I've come across recently using social media to share stories which are often silenced and illuminate some solidarity for the MANY women, children and men who have been affected by sexual violence.

While they are sad and tragic and touching, I also am finding inspiration - that people are sharing, people are listening, and people are dedicated to confronting something terrible which exists, and which we have the power to end. Let's do that. But first we have to listen and believe:

Twitter #ididnotreport, #ididntreport, #webelieveyou

And Project Unbreakable where a photography student is asking survivors to write what their perpetrator said during the assault and photographing them.

People want to share their stories but are all too often silenced - sometimes by the perpetrator, often by a society that doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't want to believe it. Doesn't want to know. We need to take as our task the responsibility to be safe people. To listen, believe, and support survivors. To make it safe for them to report, to hold perpetrators accountable, and to end violence.

Volunteers make our world go round!

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:05:27 GMT

Three times a year WISE holds a Volunteer Training for all those interested in becoming a Volunteer Advocate at WISE. The training educates volunteers on domestic and sexual violence, abuse and stalking. Participants become comfortable practicing effective listening skills and offering support and access to pertinent resources in the community to those contacting WISE. The interactive training sessions include in depth conversations, use of videos, guest speakers and field trips to our local police station and hospital. With the completion of the 30 hour training, advocates are prepared to effectively empower those calling our Crisis Line. Perhaps the most meaningful aspect of Volunteer Training at WISE is how it creates a space where people feel free to question and explore the challenging and discomforting realities of our world.

The group dynamic during Volunteer Training is unique in personnel, perspectives and reasons for becoming a volunteer advocate, yet there is a strong underlying sense of understanding of and respect for one another. I have witnessed how with the exposure of distressing information, group members take it upon themselves to connect, build relationships and support one another. As I see how a small diverse group can find common ground and concern for these important issues, I become hopeful that much larger groups can as well. I am grateful to have the opportunity to work with WISE’s Volunteer Advocates as they are brave members of our community, willing to recognize the injustices that exist and further participate in their eradication.

March 13^th begins another six week Volunteer Training. I so look forward to meeting the new members joining our forever growing team.

- Chelsea Williams, Training Coordinator

2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:39:59 GMT

The most recent national statistics are out on experiences of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking. You may have seen a summary in the paper or online news, and the CDC will be releasing demographic specific data soon.

The statistics are much the same as previously thought. The survey reinforced what we unfortunately already know to be true - that there are far too many women and men and children affected by violence perpetrated by people they knew.

While we'll have more thoughts and conversations about what the survey means and how it can guide our work, I want to posit this one tiny hypothesis:

"in no state did fewer than 10% of women report being raped. Virginia had the lowest levels of victimization of women, at 11.4%; other states on the low end include Tennessee, Delaware, and Rhode Island."

Virginia and Rhode Island (at least) are nationally recognized among prevention professionals for their focus on prevention, have made prevention funding and projects a priority, and house some of the foremost expert people and programs on the subject. Perhaps we are beginning to see the statistical fruits of that labor?

Herman Cain and Penn State Round Up

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:29:06 GMT

It was too depressing to post individually to Facebook, but for those of you interested, here is a round up of what I found to be useful or well stated articles on the recent big coverage sexual abuse. While reading, I think it may be useful to reflect on how these stories provide contrast to the hundreds of stories that we hear at WISE, and are happening around the world daily. The ones that don't get covered in the news. Would it be a big story if the people assaulted and covered up by athletics were women instead of children? What does it say that Herman Cain supporters stated they would vote for him EVEN IF he was guilty of the sexual assault accusations that have come to light?

Please note that these articles further points of discussion around topics which are important to WISE, but do not necessarily reflect WISE opinion.

Here's your round up:

Herman Cain

NPR - Supporters Stand by Cain

"I just haven't believed it," says Pam Bensen of the accusations. "In fact this morning, I actually went online to donate again, just to show him that we were supporting him."

Feministe - Calling Sexual Assault What It Is

Please think, too, about what the media framing and language use around these accusations does to frame our cultural understanding of Rape and sexual assault. If we never see the word used even as we read descriptions of those things, how can we connect the two?

Penn State

The Nation - The World Joe Paterno Made

In 2003, less than one year after Paterno was told that Sandusky was raping children, he allowed a player accused of rape to suit up and play in a bowl game. Widespread criticism of this move was ignored. In 2006, Penn State's Orange Bowl opponent Florida State, sent home linebacker A.J. Nicholson, after accusations of sexual assault. Paterno’s response, in light of recent events, is jaw-dropping. He said, "There's so many people gravitating to these kids. He may not have even known what he was getting into, Nicholson

New York Times - The Molester Next Door

This molester had a job. A house. A wife. Two kids of his own. And he gained access to his victim not through brute force but through patience, play and gifts: help with his homework, computer games, a new bike. To neighborhood observers, including the victim’s parents, the molester’s attentiveness passed for kindness, at least for a while. A molester’s behavior very often does.

Feministe - Institutional Cultures

It’s not just one guy raping little boys. It’s a culture that values a game over basic bodily integrity and physical health; it’s a culture that values that game over education, even at an institution of higher learning. Of course, in the context of that culture, a child rapist is going to get a pass if he’s integral to the game. Of course people are going to cover for him, or look the other way, or make small changes so that they can feel better but don’t actually go to law enforcement, which might threaten the game.

And a side note related to the culture of football and masculinity.

HuffingtonPost - High school football coach resigns after "Hurt Feelings Survey" given to team. (Keeps his position as guidance counselor.)

WARNING: The survey contains lewd language. Discretion is advised.

Under a list of reasons for filing the "Hurt Feelings Report," the survey offers choices including "I am a pussy," "I have woman like hormones," "I am a queer" and 'I am a little bitch." It asks for the "name of 'Real Man' who hurt your sensitive little feelings," "name little sissy filing this report." and the filer's "girly-man signature."

This is my fifth year presenting to youth about healthy relationships, rape and dating violence prevention, and the culture which breeds gendered violence. I fully expect that these young people can do a better job for one another, but they're going to need much more help if these are the news stories of their environment.

Control happens on purpose.

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 16:26:07 GMT

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110815101535.htm

Often when I'm working with young people around recognizing the tactics that people use in order to garner power and control over someone else the question comes up "do you really think they plan it like that?" The question is can they be responsible for the outcomes of their behavior if we can't prove a line between intent and behavior.

We spent some time acknowledging that perhaps the person wouldn't articulate a linear progression between their behaviors and total control, but often times I think we don't give people who perpetrate enough credit for the skills and thinking that go into crafting their behaviors. We're essentially selling them short by creating the excuse that they didn't carefully craft their master plan from start to finish, so perhaps it wasn't intentional.

Time after time, research tells us this isn't true. Through the countless stories that we at WISE hear from victims and survivors, and through comparing stories across demographic, cultural, and geographic lines there are just too many parallels for us to ignore. Ultimately it becomes clear that we CAN prove that line. It is undeniable in the pattern of people who perpetrate. There is a script of sorts.

New research on victims of domestic violence who recant their report to authorities demonstrates this script in 5 steps:

After analyzing the calls, the researchers identified a five-step process that went from the victims vigorously defending themselves in the phone calls to agreeing to a plan to recant their testimony against the accused abuser.

Typically, in the first and second conversations there is a heated argument between the couple, revolving around the event leading to the abuse charge. In these early conversations, the victim is strong, and resists the accused perpetrator's account of what happens.

"The victim starts out with a sense of determination and is eager to advocate for herself, but gradually that erodes as the phone calls continue," said Bonomi, who is also an affiliate with the Group Health Research Institute in Seattle.

In the second stage, the perpetrator minimizes the abuse and tries to convince the victim that what happened wasn't that serious. In one couple, where the victim suffered strangulation and a severe bite to the face, the accused perpetrator repeatedly reminded the victim that he was being charged with "felony assault," while asking whether she thought he deserved the felony charge.

"Finally, he wore her down and she agreed with him that he didn't deserve a felony charge," Bonomi said.

What happens next in this second stage, though, is the critical step in the process of recantation.

"The tipping point for most victims occurs when the perpetrator appeals to her sympathy, by describing how much he is suffering in jail, how depressed he is, and how much he misses her and their children," Bonomi said.

"The perpetrator casts himself as the victim, and quite often the real victim responds by trying to soothe and comfort the abuser."

In one case, the accused perpetrator threatened suicide and said in a phone call to his victim, "Nobody loves me though, right?"

At that point, the victim's tone changed dramatically, and she sounded concerned that he might actually try to hurt himself, Bonomi said. From then on, the victim promised to help him get out of jail.

In the third stage, after the accused abuser has gained the sympathy of the victim, the couple bonds over their love for each other and positions themselves against others who "don't understand them."

The fourth stage involves the perpetrator asking the victim to recant her accusations against him and the victim complying. Finally, in the fifth stage, the couple constructs the recantation plan and develops their stories.

It's often hard for us to reconcile the people we know in our communities with the image of someone systematically going about undermining the person they purport to love, but it is critical in understanding the dynamics of domestic and sexual violence to recognize the intention of people who perpetrate. Only when we can hold people accountable for their behavior - the full extent of their choices and actions, without excuses - can we hope to redirect it.

What do you think?

Empathic or Empathetic?

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 10:47:19 GMT

Here at WISE we were wondering about the difference/proper pronunciation of a critical term: that describing the possession of the quality of empathy.

Being of the digital age, we Googled it, and if you've ever had a similar quandary, wonder no more. Find here not only the answer, but a description referencing StarTrek. You're welcome!

If you're not sure, ask!

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 14:02:18 GMT

So, basic principle 101 on being around humans: if you're not sure how what you want to do (to someone) is going to make another person feel - you should ask before you do it. Duh. That way there are no accidents, and no way that you can inadvertently make someone feel bad against your intentions.

Where the conversation generally goes from here is to sexual harassment. One student pointed out "what, like I'm supposed to ask the person before I yell at them out my car?!" to which another promptly pointed out "then maybe you shouldn't do it." It's easy, really. Ask or err on the side of caution.

But I've had genuine conversations with people concerned about wanting to talk and interact with strangers, perhaps even compliment them, without making the stranger uncomfortable. I think this piece articulates really clearly that all it takes is respect, and a little touch of understanding.

Two super key points that it makes and I want to reinforce:

1 - "You look really nice today" is different from "hey gorgeous"...you know this.

2 - "I would take that as a compliment" is not an excuse for invalidating someone's discomfort. Men and women exist in different worlds, women where Rape is a 1/4 chance, and men where it's not - this makes experiences utterly different. Beyond that, your experience isn't someone else's which is why the principle of "if you're not sure, ask" is so important.

Check out the article:

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/149319/catcalling_is_a_problem:_how_to_talk_to_a_woman_without_being_rude,_creepy_or_scary?page=1

Good guy/Bad guy

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 11:14:58 GMT

Generally in a community every one will agree when asked that sexual and domestic violence are not good. The issues seem to come up when there is a specific example - an example in which people in the community know the players.

Then the stakes get high, and the conversations get uncomfortable. Think about every newspaper report of a crime in which the neighbors interviewed opine "but he was such a nice guy!"

There seems to be a serious desire to split up the good guys from the bad guys. If rape and abuse are bad, then bad guys must do them, so the fact that I know this guy and liked this guy, and had him painted as a good guy, he couldn't be doing this bad thing. Conclusion: she's lying.

What we seem to be missing in public court of opinion is that good people can do bad things, and bad people can do good things. That actually there aren't usually good and bad people, but complex people that do lots of things. Some good. Some bad. Some really, really bad.

So when I came across this account* of a friend and a victim's complicated relationship with an abusive boyfriend, who was also a sometimes a source of strength and comfort, it resonated.

If we can hold more complex views of the victims and perpetrators of domestic and sexual violence, we can start to do away with the victim blaming, the "why didn't she leave", the "he couldn't possibly" and we can start to get real about ending violence. We can start to hold perpetrators accountable for their bad actions - even if we still think of them as good people. We can start to support survivors without minimizing their experience, their relationship with partner who was abusive, or their protective strategies while in the relationship.

*warning for language.

When women win, we all win

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 09:02:33 GMT

"But embedded in that question is a dangerous assumption: People tend to assume that the balance between the sexes is a zero-sum game, that when women win, men lose. But it's simply not true."

TEDWomen conference happened recently and the speakers look varied and wonderful. Apparently before the conference, there were questions about why TED needed to have a separate and specific conference around women and girls, instead of simply incorporating more materials about and for women and girls into their regular content. So Huffpo conducted an interview with Pat Mitchell, host of the event, and the obvious question came up: will there be a TEDMen? I think the answer above is beautiful and perfect. I want to write it up on my wall.

When I talk about gender with classes or in the context of violence that we know occurs mostly by men to women, I'm sometimes accused of vilifying men or victimizing women. Instead, I'm saying what we know, and hoping that we all can make changes necessary so that everyone can be safe, happy and productive in the world. As Pat says - it's not an either/or, it's a yes/and - yes there is a gendered dynamic to the violence that we work to end, and that means everyone has an interest in ending it.

Worth Complaining About

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 12:53:30 GMT

A South African study just out found that 1:3 men admitted to raping a woman. ONE OUT OF THREE. One might think that those statistics are from some place else, they don't apply here. Maybe that's true. Dr David Lisak found in his study of undetected rapists in college that only about 7% of the men he interviewed admitted to rape (he also found that the 4% who admitted to more than one instance of rape had an average of 6 victims each before they graduated college).

But the attitudes and beliefs that inform and create Rape Culture do in fact apply here.

So a South African ad agency decided to do an experiment. Unfortunately, the experiment created a beautiful ad. Watch the video to find out why I say that it "unfortunately" worked.

It is up to OUR COMMUNITIES to eliminate violence. It is your responsibility to not let sexist or violent attitudes and behaviors slide. You must say something. People's lives actually depend on it.

Website

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 11:39:00 GMT

Our new WISE website is 1 year (and 1 month) old! And we're constantly working on ways to make it better. Here's your chance to give us your feedback:

How often do you use the website?
How do you use the website? What are your favorite functions/information/pages?
What would you like to see/see more of? What additional functions or information would you use?

By responding in comments (or by email to Kate) you're helping us serve the Upper Valley into our 40th year!

My Baby Sister the Genius

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 10:06:00 GMT

My baby sister is a genius. She was ALWAYS reading, she was quiet and bright, she had glasses, she was (still is) stunningly smart.

Around the time she got to high school I would come home from college to visit and noticed something strange. Every time she had friends over she would use this strange giggle. She giggled at everything, her voice went up an octave, she said stupid, inane things. It was like she was trying to look dumb. And I thought why would such a smart girl want to seem dumb?

A few other things about my sister - she's blonde, thin, and beautiful. Apparently she found that those things got her further, popularity wise, than the highest percentile GPA she rocked.

And apparently, she's not the only one who's figured this out. Girl Scouts of America just put out a survey that found girls were purposefully making themselves seem dumb online. And this all makes sense - if we put out an expectation of how we expect girls to be, they will try to fill it. And girls (youth) have always been so super savvy at using social networking to design their online reputation/persona. So of course girls are framing themselves this way. Of course girls are posting the poses and outfits that make adults squirm at the sight of scantily clad pre-teens. I call it a case of the Gender Boxes. If we devalue women and girls for their brains and humor and ability, they'll frame themselves in the only way that this society gives women "power"* - through their sex appeal.

*I say "power" because I think we can all recognize this isn't real power, but an illusion.

Girls make themselves look stupid and mean online - Alltop

Thank You Notes from Students

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 11:40:56 GMT

I get thank you notes from some students that participate in my workshops. Most say "thanks", some are beautiful/touching and articulate about what they learned, some are hilarious. I think it's worth sharing the hilarious ones...

In today's episode of TYNfS:

"Add me on Facebook"

signed: "kid in the front, tall, kinda cute :)"

"Thank you so much" x13

"I love your scarfs"

"It was fun and thank you for letting me write on the board."

My job is fun!

Happy? Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Wed, 06 Oct 2010 11:56:31 GMT

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. There was some consideration given to moving DVAM to another month because October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month and how can (or should) one compete with the other?

I don't particularly like "awareness months". For a number of reasons among them I don't think that a month is all the attention that an issue should get; I don't think that awareness is enough; I think that behavior change for a culture doesn't stem from 31 days of catchy signs and gel pens with crisis numbers.

And for both Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer, I don't agree that these things are inevitable and so we need to be aware. I believe that these things are both caused by the environment that we currently live in, and I believe that these both are preventable by a culture change.

So I found this post and I wanted to share and agree - what if we spend this month (and far, far beyond) changing the way we live - starting with the "awareness" that it is going to take all of us to prevent the deaths due to domestic violence and breast cancer.

So what are your resolutions? How are you going to end violence and cancer?

Untested Kits

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 12:23:18 GMT

Law and Order SVU tonight explores what happens when victims of sexual assault agree to go through a forensic examination to collect evidence, which is then never tested. If you see the episode, leave your comments below!

Neal Baer and Mariska Hargitay
Ending the Backlog

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/neal-baer/ending-the-backlog_b_739159.html?view=print

Imagine the unimaginable: You've been raped. You manage to pull yourself together to report your rape to the police or a hospital. You tell them what happened, reliving the nightmare. You receive essential medical attention. Then, for the next four to six hours, you submit to the collection of DNA evidence. Your body is swabbed and combed -- literally -- for evidence. This invasive and traumatic procedure produces a small package called a sexual assault evidence kit -- commonly referred to as a rape kit.

As tough as this procedure can be on you both physically and emotionally, you go through it because you know that gathering evidence of this crime will insure that the perpetrator is not only caught, but also incarcerated so that he can never hurt anyone again.

You go through it because the potential benefits of doing a rape kit are enormous: Evidence from the kit can identify an unknown perpetrator whose DNA is already in the system; confirm the presence of a known assailant; corroborate the victim's account of the rape; and exonerate innocent suspects.

If -- and only if -- the kit is actually tested.

Unfortunately, in too many cases, rape kits sit untested in police and crime lab storage facilities throughout the country. Though no federal entity collects rape kit data, experts in the federal government estimate that hundreds of thousands of rape kits remain untested in cities across the United States. In the past two years alone, the cities of Los Angeles, Detroit, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, San Diego, Birmingham and Albuquerque and the states of Illinois and Massachusetts have discovered tens of thousands of untested kits in police stations and crime labs.

By failing to test these rape kits, we are telling victims that pursuing justice doesn't matter, that convicting violent perpetrators and taking them off our streets is not a top priority.

The most common reason given for not testing these kits is the expense, with an average cost of around $1200. But we must find ways to fund this important work to send out the word that raping someone has serious criminal consequences. That rape will be punished. And that our justice system cares about victims.

In light of the rape kit backlog, it seems fair to ask: Why should we put women through hours of an invasive procedure if we don't follow through and test their kits? The last thing anyone wants is for news of the rape kit backlog to discourage women from coming forward to have a rape kit collected.

And while testing rape kits is important to advance investigations, it also sends an important message: It shows victims that their cases -- and their pain and their anguish -- matter.

What else can opening a rape kit personally do for a woman, in addition to providing evidence to prosecute and convict her attacker? Here's what a woman who was raped in California had to say when her rape kit was tested after thirteen years and her rapist was finally identified: "Finally, my nightmares have stopped almost altogether. I have a sense of security that I haven't felt in over a decade. My home is my own. My family is safe."

The good news is that we can fix this problem. New York City eliminated its backlog in 2003 to dramatic effect -- the arrest rate for rape jumped from 40 to 70 per cent.

Wednesday's episode of Law and Order: SVU, "Behave," shows the dire consequences of the rape kit backlog. We hope it will move you to action. To learn more about how you can help, go to a new web-site launching on September 29th, endthebacklog.org. Together we can end the rape kit backlog and bring justice to victims.

Neal Baer is the Executive Producer of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on NBC; Mariska Hargitay is the Emmy-winning star of SVU and the founder of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

WISE and DHMC

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:08:15 GMT

Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center newsletter - Centerview - had an article in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October). We are so proud of our collaboration with health care centers in the Upper Valley, and the DHMC Domestic and Sexual Violence Task Force (of which we are a part) is a glowing example of good work done together.

Recognizing Domestic Violence Awareness Month at DHMC

Sep 27, 2010

Domestic violence is one of the most under reported crimes. However, the U.S. Surgeon General’s office has cited battering as the single major cause of injury to women. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that:

One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
Approximately 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
Eighty-five percent of domestic violence victims are women. Men are victims, too.

Sara Koury, Director and Counselor of DHMC’s Employee Assistance Program, says, “Within our own community of DHMC employees, roughly 6% of the people who come to EAP for help present with domestic violence issues. We had about 103 people with domestic violence issues come to EAP between 2004 and 2010.”

During October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a series of events will take place at DHMC to raise awareness, provide resources and encourage conversation. The events are being planned by the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Task Force. Kim Carboneau, Organizational Development Specialist (ODS) in Employee Relations, explains, “The task force was started in 1991 to address the need to improve the DHMC response to victims of domestic and sexual violence. It’s currently made up of representatives from WISE and D-H, but it has at times included representatives from local police departments. We have good working relationships with community advocates.” WISE’s mission is to empower victims of domestic and sexual violence and stalking to become safe and self-reliant through crisis intervention and support services. WISE advances social justice through community education, training and public policy.

October events include:

• Display tables:
o Garage Entrance, level 4: Oct. 4 – 8
o North Stair Alcove, level 3: Oct. 18 – 22

• Nursing Grand Rounds, Oct. 15, from noon to 1 p.m., Aud. F
"Trauma-Informed Screening for Domestic Violence." Speaker Abby Tassel, Assistant Director at WISE, will present a relatively new concept in screening patients for history or presence of domestic violence (DV). "Trauma informed screening" methods consider that victims of violence face increased internal and external barriers when they seek health care. A trauma-centered approach to screening can help a patient feel safe, feel trust in caregivers, engage more effectively in a care plan, and avoid re-traumatization. It can also help caregivers more accurately assess patients' needs.

• Movie and Discussion, Thursday, Oct. 28, at 6:30 p.m., Aud. E
Gaslight (The Murder in Thornton Square, 1944, NR, 114 minutes)
In this atmospheric murder mystery, beautiful, naive socialite Paula (Ingrid Bergman) disintegrates into a raving lunatic in the home in which her aunt was murdered. The suspect? Her devoted husband (Charles Boyer). Remade from the 1940 version, director George Cukor's dramatic mystery garnered two Oscar wins (including Best Actress for Bergman) and seven nominations, remaining a classic. Free. Snacks provided.

This month is a good time to remind providers of the importance of screening. “We really want to stress during Domestic Violence Awareness month the importance of screening for domestic violence with every patient over the age of 16,” says Koury. “We have Domestic and Sexual Violence Acute Care Protocol that providers should be familiar with. It’s been found that as many as 75 percent of battered women say they would have told a nurse or physician about the domestic violence if they’d been asked.” Deb Hastings, PhD, RN-BC, CNOR, Director of Continuing Nursing Education and task force member, says providers should consider asking these two questions: Have you been hit, kicked, punched, or otherwise hurt by a family member or intimate partner in the past year? Do you feel safe at home and in other relationships?

For more information on Domestic Violence Awareness Month or on domestic or sexual violence, please contact Sara Koury at 650-5819, or the WISE office at (603) 448-5922 or their 24 hour crisis line at (866)348-WISE.

Domestic Violence seems Standard

Mon, 13 Sep 2010 14:15:21 GMT

Happy Monday!

I took the opportunity to flip through an available newspaper at the office today. Mondays are my day in Woodstock and the Vermont Standard is the paper of choice. If you'd be so kind as to indulge, I'd like to take a virtual tour through the front section of the Sept 10, 2010 publication:

Front page, first article: "Former Killington Teacher Asks for Jail" wherein Daniel Madden appeared in Windsor District Court in response to felony second degree unlawful restraint and misdemeanor domestic assault against his wife, who filed a Relief From Abuse Order which prompted Madden's arrest. Madden asks to skip all preceedings and go directly to Jail, court takes pity on the dejected man and postpones arraignment until the next day, when Madden reappears and pleads "not guilty".

Page 2A:
Police Log contains the service of a Temporary Relief From Abuse Order and the assistance of a "family dispute". Woodstock man punches his wife in the face at a gas station in Windsor and is held by bystanders until police arive. Plainfield man arrested in Woodstock for drunk driving, domestic assault, and simple assault against his girlfriend and a bystander trying to intervene on the woman's behalf.

At the moment, domestic violence (and sexual violence and stalking) are unfortunate realities in the Upper Valley, but they don't have to be. I am heartened to hear of bystanders stepping in when they see violence, and the local media providing conversation opportunities by covering the issues. I hope that we as a community can build on these successes to open dialogue about the dynamics of violence, incorporating coordinated community response to support victims and hold perpetrators accountable, and set our resolve for a world without violence.

Tell us what you want!

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 13:15:21 GMT

We're almost a year into our brand new WISE website and in our efforts to always serve the needs of the community - we're asking you what you want!

What do you want on the site? What documents, resources, links, information?

What do you want on the blog? What should WISE be seeking out to comment on through our blog? Anyone want to guest post? Who do you want to hear from?

What's working? Are there things that you LOVE and want to make sure stay?

Tell us what you want!

WISE Standard

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:22:45 GMT

Laura Powers wrote a beautiful article which ran recently in the Vermont Standard on the Woodstock Healthy Teens project currently running in Woodstock, VT. Our favorite line: "And Rohdenburg is talking, a lot." :)

WISE WISE Words Blog

It's not like there are a million great guys out there...

Social media for social change

Volunteers make our world go round!

2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey

Herman Cain and Penn State Round Up

Control happens on purpose.

Empathic or Empathetic?

If you're not sure, ask!

Good guy/Bad guy

When women win, we all win

Worth Complaining About

Website

My Baby Sister the Genius

Thank You Notes from Students

Happy? Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Untested Kits

Law and Order SVU tonight explores what happens when victims of sexual assault agree to go through a forensic examination to collect evidence, which is then never tested. If you see the episode, leave your comments below!

Neal Baer and Mariska HargitayEnding the Backlog

WISE and DHMC

Domestic Violence seems Standard

Tell us what you want!

WISE Standard

Neal Baer and Mariska Hargitay
Ending the Backlog