WISE - Domestic Violence


		Domestic Violence
			In 1998, one-third of all murdered females were killed by an intimate partner ( Rennison and Welchans May 2000) About 45% of the female intimate violence victims in 1998 lived in households with children younger than twelve years old (Ibid) Victims of family violence are overwhelmingly female—71% for family violence versus 58% for all other types of violence (Ibid.,281) Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior designed to exert power and control over a person in an intimate relationship through the use of intimidating, threatening, harmful, or harassing behavior. Domestic violence has many other names; wife abuse, marital assault, spouse abuse, wife battering, intimate violence, battering and partner abuse. Domestic violence is behavior learned through observation and is not caused by illness or genetics. Abuse can include: Physical abuse – punching, choking, hitting, pinching, pulling hair, shoving Emotional abuse – withholding affection, humiliation, intimidation Verbal abuse – name calling, cursing, threatening, coercion Psychological abuse – playing mind games, isolation Sexual abuse – forcing sex of any kind Economic abuse – withholding access to financial resources Animal abuse – inflicting injury upon pets or animals Leaving the relationship does not mean safety. Those who work with victims of domestic violence often put their emphasis on pushing the victim to leave the relationship. This approach may, in fact, put the victim at higher risk of danger. An appropriate response is to help her/him determine what her/his risks are and help to problem-solve how to minimize those risks. In some cases, staying within the relationship may be the safest response. Statistics indicate that women are at a greater risk of becoming victims of domestic homicide when they attempt to leave the relationship. In fact, women who leave their batterers are at a 75 percent greater risk of being killed by their batterer than those who stay (Wilson and Daly 1993) Some of the many reasons women stay in an abusive relationship: The children Money Fear Relatives blame her Police blame her She blames herself Her batterer blames her No one believes she is being abused She doesn’t think she is being abused Her partner say’s I love you She loves her partner Her partner says I’m sorry Her partner says he won’t do it again Her partner says he will kill her if she leaves She’ll be homeless She has no money She has no job She has a poor education She is afraid of the welfare system She doesn’t know where to get help The children love their dad She was abused as a child She doesn’t realize that abuse isn’t the norm Children are also affected by domestic violence. Children may be injured and traumatized by fear and feelings of helplessness. Children often blame themselves for causing or not being able to stop the violence. If you believe you are a victim of domestic violence call WISE and talk with a highly trained advocate One of the most crucial skills an advocate must possess is the ability to validate the victim’s feelings, experiences, and fears. Many domestic violence victims do not view themselves as victims, and fail to realize that domestic violence is a crime perpetrated against many other women. The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children It is significant that seven out of ten persons who enter domestic violence shelters are children. In 1998, the Center for Disease Control published a study that indicated violence against mothers by their intimate partners might also pose a concurrent risk of abuse to the victim’s children. In the mother’s case, the intimate is her partner; the child may be abused by either the mother’s intimate or by the battered mother. A continuing controversy regarding the prevalence of this type of abuse exists, but most authorities describe the concurrence rate as approximately 50 percent (McKibben, DeVos and Newberger 1998; Ross 1996) - Children learn from an important role model (the parent) that violence toward a loved one is acceptable. - Children exhibit fear, bed-wetting, school phobias, and insomnia. - Young children may try to stop the violence, thus putting themselves at risk for unintended harm or may respond by running away, hiding, bed wetting or nightmares. - After age five or six, children show strong indications of identifying with the aggressor and losing respect for the victim. - Many children suffer low self-esteem, sadness, depression, stress disorders, poor impulse control, and feelings of powerlessness, and they are at high risk for alcohol and drug use.